Today, I have anxiety and angst. I’m not sure of the source. Could it be the global unrest? Could it be the pandemic? The recent murder of George Floyd and the subsequent riots? Could it be the missing and murdered Indigenous women all over North America? Who knows? All I know is that I am feeling all the feels.
It’s part of who I am. I am empathic and highly sensitive. I believe this was part of the coping skills I developed growing up in an unpredictable household steeped in abuse and addiction. Both my parents came from dysfunctional homes. They did the best they could. They also brought with them loads of generational trauma in their genes. If this is the first time you’ve heard of this, you may think it’s impossible. But it’s not. Generational trauma is a thing.
So, given the circumstances of my upbringing, it can be unbearable for me to think about or read about another person’s tragedy as I feel it intensely in my body. If I focus on it too much, I begin to feel it as my own. This can make learning about current events a challenge, which is why I do not watch the News (I do not have a TV) and I rarely read the newspaper. This is not to say I don’t know what’s going on in the world. I absolutely do. If you are committed to a life of truth and service, you can’t help but find out what’s going on around here.
This morning, I participated in a Masterclass by the beautiful and powerful Trudi Lebron. She is an Impact Coach with a focus on diversity, equity and inclusion. She holds a Masters in Psychology and is currently working on her PH.D. in Social Psychology. Trudi organized this masterclass as a way to speak up, speak out and teach other leaders about her passion. She felt a responsibility to share as a response to Marie Forleo’s very quick shut down of posts and comments in her own group around the murder of Geroge Floyd. Trudi’s Masterclass was so powerful. It was affirming and supportive in all kinds of ways. I was gifted the opportunity to attend by my own outspoken coach Sara Dann and I am forever grateful.
What did I learn?
I learned A LOT and could go on and on and on, but I’ll give you a snackable sized portion of what stuck out for me right here.
I learned about how important it is for us, as white women, as coaches, leaders and teachers to STAND THE FUCK UP for what we believe. We need to ask ourselves: What are our commitments? What are our values? We need to get really clear. Do we believe every life is valuable? Are we truly committed to being of service? Are we committed to diversity, equity and inclusion? If so, how do we live into that? Good question, right?
I learned that we need to live and die by our values. It’s the only thing that we have to fall back on when crazy shit like this happens. We need to know who we are, what we value and be prepared to share those values with others. We need to stand up for what we believe. We don’t have to do it perfectly. We don’t have to be aggressive about it. We just have to do it. Our values speak to the very core of who we are as individuals. Living into our values is empowering and brings peace. We know who we are and we don’t apologize for it.
I learned that our values will guide us in these difficult times.
Let me say that again.
Our values will guide us in these difficult times.
So, what can you do?
Well, that all depends on your values, doesn’t it?
Start to feel into your values. Name them. Get clear on them. Commit to them. Are you truly committed to serving? Are you committed to no harm? What is your commitment to yourself in this kind of situation? If you are unsure, search the internet. Look for ideas from other people on how to live into your values. Discover ways to prioritize diversity, equity and inclusion in your life, at work and in your school or business.
Most of the time, this means taking action.
As I was sharing in my LIVE video yesterday, we need to be brave and speak up even when we are afraid. Our brothers and sisters (because to me, we are all brothers and sisters) are being murdered and we need to do something. That something is speaking out. It can be as simple as ‘I am feeling upset about what has happened’. It can be as simple as ‘I am afraid about what this means’. It can be as simple as ‘That felt bad. What you just said. That felt bad to me.’
It can be scary, but it can also feel good.
Where do we go from here?
This is not an easy time. It is a challenging time, a surprising time and an unprecedented time. It’s entirely normal if you are feeling stressed, anxious, detached, disconnected, angry and more. It’s okay to not feel okay right now. And it is important for us to do what we can right now to support people of colour. I’ve had enough of this and I imagine you have, too. We need to stand up for Team Humanity. We need to build up our team and bring it to victory. We are all in this together.
It starts today. It starts with one person. It starts with one step.
If you need to talk, please send me an email or a DM on Facebook or Instagram. Head over to Woke Women Rising to learn more about values, personal growth and being of service. It is an inclusive community and I would love to see you there. Please share this blog with your friends if you found it helpful.