And I feel fine…

… Feeling pretty psyched

It’s the end of the world as we know it

It’s the end of the world as we know it

It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine…

~ R.E.M. It’s The End Of The World

 

IMG_1563Those lyrics came to mind as I sat down to write this blog post.

 

Actually, more specifically, it was the “And I feel fine…” part that was playing in my head.

 

Cause yup, that would be it. I feel fine.

 

Last week, I found out that Plan for Joy is officially dead. D-E-A-D

Over

 

Surprise!!

 

Let’s see if I can shed some light on this interesting development.

 

It all began a couple months ago. All of a sudden, I felt inspired to go back to my original business name, as I am sure most of you know. Radical Wondering is my jam and it really sums up who I am and what it is I do.

 

In my work with clients, we wonder deeply about their lives and the meaning of their experiences. Together, we discover ways for them to expand their feelings of contentent, fulfillment and inner peace, which is something I have been doing for a very long time.

 

In fact, I’ve been wondering in this way, in my own life, for as long as I can remember.

 

So, when I found out last week that there was a potential I lost everything Plan for Joy, I didn’t panic. I felt a strange disconnection to the entire possibility. It was like internally I shrugged my shoulders and said “Oh well”. So fascinating. This is so interesting to me.

 

Wouldn’t you think I would be a little put out?

 

Or perhaps frustrated and discouraged?

 

Two years of work down the tubes.

 

But nope. Not really. I felt fine.

 

I mean I could drum up some of those feelings. I could tap into them if I tried. I could see how it would be easy to fall into that.

 

And to be honest, I may have been a wee bit disappointed. It was unfortunate, I suppose. I would have loved to have saved the blog posts and comments from the site. Those were pretty sweet.

 

Yet, I have known for a while that Plan for Joy no longer resonated with me.

 

And so be it.

 

It’s gone.

 

The web hosting was not renewed in time and it disappeared into the unknown.

 

And that’s the way things roll.

 

Life has a way of taking care of things for us. When we make a definitive decision, things line up. So, perhaps losing Plan for Joy was the Universe’s way of aligning itself with my new vision. This vision goes back to the initial reason I started doing this work.

 

Coaching for me came out of a deep desire to be of service to others.

 

Coaching was not something I thought would be a ‘good idea’. It was never part of my plan. In fact, I always thought coaching was a little hokey. Ha ha ha ha ha.

 

However, when I got well, I felt an undeniable responsibility to help others who may still be struggling. That’s it. I could not escape from this sense. I had to pay it forward. It still feel that way.

 

IMG_1417In fact, coaching feels like it’s one of my biggest works.

 

The only way I know to be of service to others is to share my experience, strength and hope. What that means to me is sharing the details of how I got well. And I mean really well.

 

I beat a depression that had a hold of me for 20 years.

 

Yes. You read that right.

 

I freed myself of 20 years of depression through, wait for it…

 

Connection.

 

Connection in all things: connection to self, connection to another and connection to something bigger than ourselves.

 

The currency of wellness is connection.

 

There is nothing else as powerful.

 

In fact, this assertion is being proven over and over by studies in positive psychology, addiction and trauma.

 

After years of work with addiction and trauma, Dr. Gabor Mate affirmed that the root cause of suffering from addiction and trauma is a lack of connection.

 

“The essence of trauma is that, as a result of the overt abuse or neglect, or because of the relational trauma, we lose the connection to our essence. That’s what the trauma is. The trauma is not what happened; the trauma is not that I was raped, the trauma is not that I was abandoned, the trauma is not that I was hit, the trauma is not that my parents didn’t know how to listen to me.

 

That’s not the trauma; the trauma is that, as a result of that, I lost the connection to myself. Hence, I lost the connection to my essential qualities: my joy, my vitality, my clarity, my wisdom, my power, my strength, my courage. That’s the trauma!”

Absofrigginlutely Dr. Mate!!

That’s been my lived experience. I didn’t just read a book about what I share with my clients. It is my experience. I share techniques, tools and tips with you based in real life experience.

 

And so, instead of making planning for joy the focus of my work, I am going to return to the radical notion of connection.

This is what I know. This is how I live my life. This is my jam.

IMG_5850Connection above all else.

And well, that could be why I’m not broken over losing Plan for Joy. I’m not broken because it’s time. It’s time for me to do what it is I am meant to do. Teach you and as many other people as I can about the healing power of connection.

 

How does that sound, ladies & gents?

 

 Let’s start a revolution.

One deep connection at a time.

One day at a time.

One step at a time.

 

Start here. Start now.

It is time.

Stay tuned for everything connection :)

 

Much love to you all!!

Xo

Shyloe

2 Comments

  1. Jacquetta
    November 21, 2017

    Shyloe
    This is beautiful!! and just what I needed this morning to get one foot forward. You are absofrigginlutely right about connection. Thank You!!!!
    The first step.
    Next, the day.
    Here’s to the Connection Revolution!!!!
    With much love
    Jacquetta

    Reply
    • Shyloe Fayad
      November 26, 2017

      Yes! The Connection Revolution!! It is time!! Hoping to see you soon!! :)

      Reply

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